anecdotes

I think my best friend is the funniest person I know. She may be the next Chelsea Handler, but brunette and not Jewish. I've told her I'll be her Chuy, because I'm short and can just sit on the side and laugh at her. I've decided to share our personal conversations with you so that you can get a little laughter, too. And so that I can make her famous one day.

*Ladies and gentlemen: the stories you are about to hear are true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Dream

Dear DJ,
So I had a dream that my boyfriend was a bartender/owned a bar or something. And you were a bartender there. So I went to drink with y'all and the place was hopping. Then all of a sudden Sally* and her friends including stupid Francis* who I hate show up, and we hang out with them for a little while. Then all of a sudden, we are driving down a beach highway laughing and talking and THEN, we were walking on the sidewalk of this dirt track road that looked like the fair race track and my ex-boyfriend was with us! And I think we were all drunk. The ex was def drunk and he said "If I ever see Brad Pitt, I am going to pull down my pants and say..." (then he jumps in front of a car that is coming down the muddy race track road and says...) "Take this Angelinaaaaaaaa." THEN he gets hit by the car and falls face first into the muddy track, and we all think he is dead. Out of no where, this girl I went to grammar school with (who is a  nurse according to facebook) comes out and claims him to be alive. So I jump into the muddy track and pick him up and bring him to the side of the road which also happens to be a pier. I remember thinking that I was mad that I jumped into the muddy track and ruined my jeans and I remember thinking that I hope my new boyfriend doesn't think that I still like my ex because I saved him.

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