anecdotes

I think my best friend is the funniest person I know. She may be the next Chelsea Handler, but brunette and not Jewish. I've told her I'll be her Chuy, because I'm short and can just sit on the side and laugh at her. I've decided to share our personal conversations with you so that you can get a little laughter, too. And so that I can make her famous one day.

*Ladies and gentlemen: the stories you are about to hear are true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Sick and Tired

Dear DJ,
Why do people feel the need to tell you what you look like... Unless they are telling me I look great or that I resemble a celebrity (a hot one, not like Kirstie Alley), I don't really give a shit what they think. I don't need them to tell me that I look tired, or "you don't look like you feel well." Like what is the point?? Am I supposed to say "Oh great! Thanks!" Honestly if I look tired or sick, I probably am- so that being said I am probably in a terrible mood so you pointing out how crappy I look is not going to chipper my day. I make it a point to never tell anyone they look anything other than great! I just think that telling people in subtle way that they aren't looking so hot needs to be addressed and more importantly put to an end. I am trying everyday to raise teenage boys to be sensitive to a woman's needs to save more and more female hearts from being broken. Maybe I will win a Nobel Peace Prize.

So please my dear friends if someone at your work looks like hell spare them the "tired" or "sick" comments. Unless of course it is some bitch you don't like and you want to make a stab at her.... Come to think about it the latter reason is probably what that ginger was trying to do to me. 

PS. I am not sick or tired. I left my makeup at my parents' house. My students are horrified. I really want to tell them that they will really be in shock when they get to college and wake up to some "lady" with mascara down her face and a bar stamp on her forehead. They really should screen girls without makeup first so there are no suprises in the morning. Oh the life lessons I could really teach these kiddos.

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